The origins of Julia Susara’s chronic fatigue are hard to pin down. She still doesn’t know exactly how it started but suspects that a deeply broken heart had something to do with it.

Content Note: Discussions of suicidal ideation.

Juila spent about three years going through some excruciating physical sensations: immense chills, brain fogs, pregnancy nightmares and the feeling that her blood was about to boil through her skin.

Doctors weren’t able to figure out what was wrong, nor were the array of alternative healers she visited. Feeling that no one was able to help, she was at the edge of giving up.

But, at her brother’s suggestion, she reluctantly visited a hypnotherapist who gave Julia instructions to swim daily in cold water. So she started jumping in the ocean each day and felt a strange and near immediate change in her symptoms.

If you’re feeling suicidal, here are some numbers you can call to speak with someone who will listen:

USA Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
UK Samaritans: 116 123
Canada Crisis Services: 1.833.456.4566
Japan Tell JP: 03-5774-0992
Australia Lifeline: 13 11 14
Denmark Livslinien: 70 201 201
Other countries: check the list available at suicide.org

Producer: Jeff Emtman
Music: Julia’s choir group and The Black Spot

This episode marks the end of Season 9. Season 10 is coming, but the date is currently unknown. Stay subscribed! And keep an eye on the HBM Patreon page for an upcoming message with a season debrief and some musings about the show’s future. That post will be public, so no need to be a member to read it. Also, please note that due to some summer busy-ness, Jeff will not be able to run an HBM summer art exchange this year. Thank you for all your support through Season 9. It is such a pleasure to make this show.

**Sponsor:** Animasus

Emilius Martinez is an illustrator and designer who runs Animasus. Animasus can help you design email campaigns, websites and improve the overall branding for your business.
Speaking of which, Emilius designed the new HBM t-shirt, which is wonderful. Thank you Animasus for sponsoring Here Be Monsters!

Look! It’s the new HBM shirt. Designed by Emilius Martinez from Animasus. Order yours today!

As a baby, Griff Eldridge was quieter than most. But he slept well. He fed. He played with his big brother Ira. And he smiled easily. For a long time, his parents Luke and Davinia didn’t worry, because he was so happy and healthy.

When Griff became a toddler, Luke and Davinia started to compare his speech to the speech of other children and to the standards laid out in the Personal Child Health Record, a book issued to new parents by the UK government.

Griff was on track when he started to babble around 12 months old. But, unlike other children, the babble never evolved to understandable sentences.

Luke and Davinia began to track Griff’s speech in a notebook and test his hearing. They took him to several doctors, none of whom agree on a single diagnosis. They learned of “Verbal Dyspraxia” and “Phonological Disorder”. He’d see a speech therapist.

Griff is nearly four years old, about to start primary school, and still he’s never spoken a fully coherent sentence. They have 18 months to get him up to speed. Recently, Davinia’s been teaching Griff the signing language Makaton.

In this episode, producer Luke Eldridge (Griff’s father) shares scenes from their home as his family works together to help Griff learn to talk. Bethany Denton edited this episode, along with help from Jeff Emtman. Additional editing help from Nick White at KCRW.

Music: The Black Spot, Flowers

Hello NYC! Jeff and Bethany are speaking at The Unplugged Soul at Columbia University’s Heyman Center on April 14th and 15th. It’s free. Register here.

Here Be Monsters

HBM150: Cold Water

Content Note: Discussions of suicidal ideation.

HBM076: Griff's Speech