The Straight and Narrow

View fullsize

Interlocked gold rings floating in clouds. Image by Jeff Emtman. Digital render.

In 2012, a street preacher walking three small dogs tried to convince Jeff Emtman of his way of thinking about gender and the afterlife. 

In this Here Be Monsters brief, Jeff shares the short essay he originally wrote about the dinner party where they attempted to make an uneasy friendship. 

Jeff re-edited the essay in 2022 and gave pseudonyms to the main characters (“Cliff” and “Sophie”). 

Producer: Jeff Emtman
Music: The Black Spot

New Sticker

Here Be Monsters is an independent podcast supported by listeners and advertisements from small businesses. If you’d like to support the show, consider sponsoring an episode, or becoming a supporter on Patreon. 

Some other news: 

• Album of German field recordingsThe recordings from the last episode (HBM153: Klänge from Berlin) are now available as an album.  Listen and purchase here.

• New HBM stickers are here! They’re beautiful, screen printed, die-cut, clear vinyl versions of the “HBM” logo.  Available for purchase on the HBM store. Patreon supporters can get some for very nearly free by following the instructions in this post.

HBM025: The Sasquatch of Pumpkintown VS Motley Crue Jon Bon Jovi

Homemade Bigfoot costumes can get you in a lot of trouble. And in gun-toting community of Pumpkintown, SC, a fake Bigfoot costume might get you killed too. But when the recession caused a local outfitter’s store sales to sag, it was a risk he was willing to take.

In the episode, Ben Becker tells the story of a disgusting hound dog named “Motley Crue John Bon Jovi”, a tobacco-juice soaked Sasquatch suit, and the world’s worst hot sauce.

Sharp listeners should note that no one fact-checked a single claim in this story. Wait, actually, we did look up Pumpkintown on Google Maps. It’s a real place. Use discretion before you use anything else in your term paper.

Music from: Flowerpetal Downpour ||| Lucky Dragons ||| Nym ||| Swamp Dog

Hey! Review HBM on iTunes! And like us on Facebook!

HBM021: Potential Energy

View fullsize

Photo by Jeff Emtman

Season 2 of Here Be Monsters begins.

The reasons why I bike at night are diverse. It’s partly because I don’t feel graceful anywhere else, it’s partly to run away and it’s partly out of persistent defiance of my failing vision.

I recently biked out to a parking garage on the outskirts of Boulder, Colorado and remembered the most significant moment of my eighteenth year, a night that made everything I do now possible.

The story involves electronic dance music, a laundromat, a bunch of sweaty teenagers pretending like it’s the eighties and one of the loudest amplifiers I’ve ever heard.

Music Nym ||| The Black Spot

Hey! Review HBM on iTunes!