It was early in the morning of New Years Day and Kelly had just bought a purse-load of psychedelic mushrooms from Laramie Wyoming's local "druggist." Kelly handed them out to the assembled company and took some himself. He felt a bit apathetic about the world. He was wearing thin shoes,, a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. But when he went outside to look at the stars, he realized what he wanted more than anything else in the world...a book on combinatorics.

Suddenly, Kelly found himself elsewhere, in a wavy and confusing reality, holding a large rock and looking through the windows of Coe Library. He was thinking about the math books that lived there on the third floor. He was very cold and had a decision to make.

Kelly lives in Seattle today. He cares about math, people and bikes. His favorite book on combinatorics is Herbert S. Wilf's generatingfunctionology, which is available for free.

Music: The Black Spot, Flowers

Our first ever season wrap party is happening in Seattle in April! Please RSVP to us on Facebook if you'd like to come.

"Kissing Spheres" are an application of combinatorics that are useful in constructing 20 sided polyhedrons. Courtesy of Robert Bradshaw of Wikimedia Commons.

Calculation of Pascal's Triangle. Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

It is possible to cut a rectangular cake into 15 equal sized pieces with just 4 cuts. These are called "cake numbers." Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

What's a life worth? About $25, before shipping. At least, that's the case if you want a high-quality inbred lab mouse, like the C57BL/6J (in the biz, they just call them "black mice").

In this episode of Here Be Monsters, Jeff Emtman joins "The Scientist," an unnamed cancer researcher, for an after-hours trip to his lab, where they visit the hundreds of lab mice that he tends to. The Scientist's job is to inject his mice with cancer cells, then attempt to cure them using experimental treatments. After the cancers become too large, he kills the mice.

The Scientist says that he is not a satanist, despite the satanic art that covers much of his body. Instead, he considers himself a utilitarian, someone who believes that sacrifices must be made to promote the most good for the most beings (human or otherwise). And "sacrifice" is actually the technical term he and others use for killing the mice. The Scientist admits that it is a euphemistic word, but defends it because "from their sacrifice, you gain knowledge."

In his lab, the death comes via carbon dioxide, which is often thought to be the most painless option (though it has critics). Other labs use cervical dislocation--though generally there's a requirement that the animal must be unconscious first.

After the lab, Jeff and The Scientist sit out on a porch drinking beer, discussing the path to becoming a scientist, The Scientist's admiration of Neil Degrasse Tyson, and the beautiful French animated film, Fantastic Planet.

Music: Lucky Dragons, The Black Spot, Flowers

Jeff Emtman wearing his protective garb prior to entering The Scientist's lab.

The Scientist points to the spot where he injects cancer cells into lab mice.

Trailer for "Fantastic Planet" (1973). AKA "La Planète sauvage".

Here Be Monsters

HBM058: Kelly Is Cold

HBM050: The Scientist is not the Angel of Death